


For Q

by everytuesday



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Death, Episode: s03e05 A Life in the Day, Episode: s04e13 No Better To Be Safe Than Sorry, Fix-It of Sorts, mostly just me processing my grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 01:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18510910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everytuesday/pseuds/everytuesday
Summary: You die at 27//You died at 77





	For Q

You die at 27 and it means something.

 

You never thought it would. You thought your demons would finally win and you’d be another tragedy, another statistic, a reason kids whisper about that building being haunted. You knew in your bones you would die young, but not like this.

 

You die for your friends. You die for your loves, lost and found and lost again. You die for Fillory, for Earth, for a future you won’t be part of. You die for the best reasons, all the right reasons. It seems like it should be enough. You saved their lives, you changed their lives, this was what it was all about.

 

You die at 27 and it’s not because you want out, over, done. You die at 27 and it’s still by your own hand and the song remains the same.

 

You die at 27.

 

\---

 

You died at 77.

 

You died surrounded by your family. Your son and your grandkids and a few great-grandkids stood around your bedside and your son told you it was okay to let go, you were so brave, you meant so much, you lived so well.

 

You died having lived longer than you ever thought you would. You remember a time when you didn’t make plans for the future because you were certain the future would never come, but here the future is. Here the end is and it’s 50 years longer than you thought you’d get and it’s enough.

 

You don’t die to save your friends. You don’t die to save the world or to be a hero. You’re old and wrinkled and well-loved and when you move into the next life and enter through the door, the love you never thought you’d have greets you with a kiss that you feel down to your bones.

 

You die and it still means something.

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt at a tribute, from one depressed super-nerd to another.
> 
> Goodbye, Quentin. You mattered so much and you deserved so much better.


End file.
